Do you have a porous boundary?
Do you walk into a room & pick up and feel all the bull shit energy of people? Do you take responsibility for peoples “negative” emotions? Believing you are somehow to blame if people feel like shit, angry, sad, depressed or unhappy around you.
Do you isolate yourself even thou you feel lonely? Because social interactions are oh so draining and cause analysis paralysis of what you said or did?
Oh my. Thinking about how this used to be my reality is making me feel a little nauseous upon reflection.
Ok so how did I go from having that as my reality to not having that as my reality? I can think of a wonderful recent experience that displays how far removed I am from this porous boundary experience!
Just some months ago I was having a coffee with a fellow I will call Rupert. I had only met Rupert a few weeks prior to our first coffee after a very interesting conversation at the pub. Anyway, we were having a coffee with continued interesting conversation. When Rupert who is a psychologist by the way, asked me a question about my past relationship. I told him it was private. Now I am not sure what happened in Rupert’s head. But he swiftly got up, paid for the coffees & politely as he could, excused himself saying goodbye. I remember sitting at the table watching Rupert walk off. Not only dumb founded that me saying something was private had such an impact on Rupert. Who is a psychologist, whom I assumed would have had some training to help him deal with whatever had been triggered for him. But I also distinctly remember thinking “Oh my God, I have come so far”!
You see years ago I would have gotten up out of my chair, chasing after Rupert trying to find out what I had done wrong, or apologise for upsetting him. But there was none of that in this experience. I just watched Rupert walk away, having a little giggle & thinking “wow I may just have counselling qualifications, but I have so much more ground than Rupert the Psychologist”. I find people so fascinating!
So, what does it take to get to this space where people around you can have a “negative” reaction or feeling without you taking responsibility for it & therefore trying to “fix” it.
Knowing oneself. Having a strong sense of self. Having awareness. Being grounded. Knowing that we are all sovereign beings & responsible for ourselves.
What a beautiful & empowered place to live from!!!!
Clear It Counselling is a face to face & online relationship counselling service, based in Jindalee Brisbane Australia, & accessible world-wide via online counselling services. Alternative counselling for addictions is also provided by Clear It Counselling. My therapeutic approach draws on many teachings, approaches & techniques. Such as The Perception Trainers, Emotional Anatomy, Psychosomatic Therapy, Psyche-K, ACT, EMDR, Kinergetics, nutrition & even numerology. I passionately pursue my own integration through physical, mental & emotional work. Giving me a lived experience of what works & is therefore worth sharing with my clients! I am fascinated by people & excel at finding unique new ways for people to be in the world, in a highly satisfying way pertinent to them! If you feel called to work with me please make contact, Clear It Counselling would love to hear from you!